Turn of Faith
Chapter 3
by Claudia Martins, published on April 18, 2002
Gabriel walked in the darkened kitchen to get some milk. Or something that would calm him down. Any other more "lively" beverage had mysteriously vanished. Gerde's work, no doubt.
Usually his dreams drained him out. This time it was like he had pure adrenaline running through his veins. His heart was pumping. Not once before had the emotions been so strong!
Suddenly, Grace entered the kitchen and froze when she saw him. The only light was the one coming from the refrigerator's open door. But he noticed her puffy and reddened eyes. She had been crying.
'Hi', he said, slowly, 'are you ok?'
She lowered her eyes and walked decisively to the fridge. 'I'm fine... I guess I'm just not used to the bed anymore...'
He stood between the table and the fridge, leaning against it, as she took out the milk carton. Closing the fridge's door she noticed his proximity and had to go all the way round the big kitchen table to avoid him.
'Yeah, guess you've just been away for too long.', Gabriel said.
'I'm sure you think it wasn't long enough.', she couldn't stop the words. She wanted to hurt him. And she did. She saw the moment her words hit him. Right on the spot.
Grace used the moment to get out of the kitchen, clutching the glass in her hand as if it could save her of whatever came next.
He went after her. 'Where the hell did that come from?', he asked angrily, 'I've told you how much I've missed you... Christ! Don't you get it??'
Grace turned around hastily, spilling some of the milk on her pajama. 'Shit!', she put the glass on the small table next to the couch. Then she looked back up at him, her eyes shining. 'What's there to get? And what right do you have to sound so offended?? Am I wrong? Don't you rather have me away from this place? That's what you've said before...'
Ok, now he knew what she meant. He calmed down. 'Listen, Grace, I know I was a jerk in trying to keep away from all of this... I was wrong, but I meant well. Or do you believe I actually like to see you risking your life... even if it is to save my worthless butt?? I am sorry!', Gabriel took a deep breath. Only if he could just have her in his arms and try to explain his feelings in other ways than words! He walked over to her and held her hands in his. 'Grace, I went half way round the world trying to find you! Why would I do that if I wanted you away?'
Her response was fast and deadly as a dagger. 'To ease your guilty conscience!'
He let go of her. Her blows were mind numbing.
'Jesus Christ, Grace! I went back for you... Back at Rennes-Le-Château! I wanted to explain... I wanted to tell you...'
Grace interrupted him with a gesture of her hand. 'That night was the biggest mistake in both our lives!'
'No, it wasn't!', Gabriel had to control himself not to yell. It wasn't! She couldn't mean what she'd just said! He walked over to her again. 'The next morning was the biggest mistake in MY life! Not that night... That night was...'
And then she looked up at him. 'That night was never meant to happen.'
He exploded. 'If you really believe it, why did you come back? If you despise me all that much why are you even here? Why do you bother?', his words came out harsher than he had intended and Grace's face had grown paler with each one of them.
'You're right, I shouldn't be here. Rest assured, tomorrow morning I'll be gone!'. The ice in her voice made his blood boil. He crossed the short distance between them and took her in his arms, without giving her a chance of escaping. There was nothing she could do to stop him from holding her or from forcing his lips upon hers, or giving in to that fiery passion that almost took hold of her. His arms were like iron around her and his kiss desperate. But with the last remains of strength and decisiveness within her, Grace pushed him away. Her lips were numb and her body ached as if a part of it had been torn away, but at that moment she hated him enough to speak coldly, 'Don't ever touch me again, Gabriel Knight. Don't you ever dare! You've done enough harm...'
His eyes widened, 'I never meant to, Grace... But I need to let you know...'
Then the words found the way to her lips. The unspoken secret was her revenge. It was the best way she knew to keep him away from her. 'I came back because I'm pregnant. And yes, if you're wondering it is yours.'
To describe the feelings and thoughts that took over him in that split of a second the news hit him would be impossible. Those were the words he had never thought he would hear. So he knew no words to answer. And he just stood there, watching her leave the room with a smug smile on her lips.
As soon as the door closed behind her, Grace's strength left her and her legs gave out on her. She let herself fall on the floor, her back against the wall, her arms around her knees. This had probably been the hardest thing she had ever done. It seemed now that her secret was out it was even harder to deal with. Now it wasn't just about her and the small child beginning its life within her. Now she had to deal with Gabriel too. She tried not to think about the way he had held her downstairs. Her lips were still burning from his kiss. It had taken every last residue of strength within her to push him away, when all she really wanted was to drown in his arms, to loose all touch with reality. But she couldn't. She wouldn't.
Gabriel's legs hadn't taken him farther than the staircase. He fell heavily on the first step, held his head in his hands and groaned. Someone up There was having a blast watching the mere Mortals squirm down here on Earth! What was God or whoever thinking? A baby? His and Grace's... That was forever! An unbreakable bond between them... Stronger than anything else. He had believed they had something strange between them, an unlikely link... But this...!
A child was something he had never had the courage to consider. Somehow he had never believed one day someone would come up to him and say: 'Guess what, you're a dad!'. No, that simply wouldn't happen. Not that he hadn't taken his chances before... But deep inside he knew it wouldn't happen. After all, he was supposed to die in his early thirties wasn't he?
And then his life had changed utterly and his love life was nothing compared to what it had been. Or rather, his sex life! Actually, that night with Grace had been the first in many months... And the last!
Him, a father! Gabriel’s opinion of himself had taken a turn for the worst lately and this didn't help... He had no right to bring a child into this world. He didn't deserve it... Or the child for that matter! And Grace... Grace should not be forced to bare his child! She had endured too much already. And knowing her it was clear that she would never decide to terminate her pregnancy... Or was her hate big enough?
The thought made him shiver. No! The voice inside him was adamant. That could never happen! He was freaked out, but something inside of him revolted with the mere thought of loosing that child! He had never known he wanted it, but he now knew there was nothing as important in his life! Gabriel got back on his feet and ran down the hallway.
He didn't even bother to knock. Grace sprang to her feet as he bursted in the room. She opened her mouth but he didn't give her time to speak. 'You're having this child, aren't you?', his said under his breath.
That question she wasn't expecting. In her desperation, she had wondered if he would suggest her not having the child. But that wasn't what he was asking... His anxiety suggested it was precisely the contrary. He wanted the baby??
'Yes, I am!', she said and the words she trapped inside of her nearly choked her, It's ours... I wouldn't give him up for anything. It's the only part of you that will ever be mine!
Gabriel finally noticed he had been holding his breath. His heart slowed down and he began to breathe normally again.
He walked over to the window and sat on the sill. 'No matter what you may think, I want this baby. You scared the hell out of me downstairs, but only because what you said... It's just that, well, I never expected to hear it. And you said it like you were trying to get even with me. But though I'm still trying to make head and tail of all of this, one thing I know: this child is very important for me... And I hope that it's just as important to you.', the question was in his green eyes when he stared at her.
'He is.', Grace answered lowering her head and caressing her still flat belly. 'You know he is more than a baby, don't you? He is the chance for the Schattenjäger dynasty to survive.'
Running his fingers through his hair, Gabriel sighed. 'No, actually, I hadn't thought about it! Christ!', he punched the wall, releasing steam, 'I had no right to do this to you, Grace! Or the baby...'
'Well, it comes with the territory. We now have a greater responsibility than regular parents. We have to learn to deal with it and...', his hands on her shoulders stopped her and she looked up at him. The expression in his eyes took her breath away.
'Gracie, I know this shouldn't have happened. Not this way... It was out of the blue, but I'll try to be a good father. I never had one, but I'll do my best to take care of you both.', there were other things he wanted to say but he knew this wasn't the moment. So he just ran his fingers through her hair, slowly.
She shivered at the touch and walked away from him.
'We must discuss what it will be like when you decide to marry or something. She won't be happy to having me around...', her eyes were defiant and her head stood proud. She wasn't going to let him melt away the fortress around her heart.
He held her gaze. 'There will never be anyone else.', he sounded so sure it spooked her. And she tried not to read more into it than there was.
'Yeah right,' she answered with a grin, 'Meanwhile I'll find an apartment and try to transfer to the University in Munich. Guess a job won't be hard to find, with Prof. Barcklay's help. Of course I understand I can not keep him away from you... His bringing up won't be a regular one and...'
He couldn't help to smile. Crossing his arms, Gabriel retorted, 'You have it all figured out, don't you? Well, kid, I'm sorry to tell you, but you're not going to Munich. Well, you're free to go to the University and even find a job if you like, but you're staying here. There's no way I'm letting you out of my sight.'
'I won't run away. If I wanted to take the baby away from you I wouldn't have come back.'
'It's not the baby I'm talking about. It's you. I want you here, with me. We've got a lot to straighten out.' Gabriel took a deep breath and pushed her chin up with his fingers, forcing her to look him straight in the eyes. 'Besides I don't want you alone...We never know what could happen. As you said, this isn't a regular pregnancy...', he felt the shiver that ran through her, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, but you know it's true.'
She only nodded and walked away again. 'It's late, Gabriel. We both should get some sleep.', Grace said, wishing he would just leave her alone to think it all through.
He took the hint and walked to the door. At the last moment, he turned around and walked over to her again, 'Goodnight, Grace', he said, reaching out to touch her cheek. And then did the last thing she would expect him to do. Gabriel touched her belly, softly, with the back of his hand. 'I love you...', he whispered. Then he looked up and stared her right in the eyes, '...both.'. Grace's surprise was so enormous she stood there, open mouthed, many minutes after he left the room. Surely she had dreamt it!
Last update: October 24, 2007
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