GK4: Reflections and Shadows
Part 9
by Theresa Wilson, published on February 18, 2001
"Woah, hold on to your horses." Cassandra said as Grace rushed into the dressing room. Her face was bright red and she looked almost nervous with worry.
Cassandra smiled at the other woman, she was very friendly. "It's a guy. I can tell. What's his name?"
"It's not just a guy, he's a man. I just didn't know it till now. He's way out of my league, I don't know why I want to be near him. It's just such a pull."
"Animal magnetism. That's the best kind of attraction. He means you have things in common, but different interests too." Cassandra purred. "Yes, there's a man who does that for me. I've finally met him after so many years waiting. I can't wait to see what happens next."
"But, this is so strong. I don't want it. It's too powerful. I don't know what to do. I liked him before, no I loved him before." Grace was panting in fury.
Cassandra grabbed a glass and got water from the sink. "Breathe like this. In. And, out. In. Out."
Grace did so, now that somebody was giving her direction. "I'll take the water." She calmly sipped from the glass. Cassandra watched her with a sisterly understanding.
"So, the evidence of what you said tells me that you loved and needed him before." Grace looked cross.
"Okay, loved him before. You aren't sure about the needing part. So, you're kind of a loner, rebellious. Need your own space?"
"Yes. But, I want to have more fun and actually live doing things that my parents think are wrong or too irrelevant to do."
"Oh, a momma and daddy's little girl. There's nothing wrong with being close to them, Grace." Cassandra said. "So, you're changing. And, an old interest in this flame has burst out. Tell the the circumstances."
This girl was young, but knew how to read men. She'd already proven that to Grace, and she did it without allowing them to get the wrong idea. She never sent mixed messages. "Well, I've liked Gabriel for a long time. It was only a crush, but I really did fall for him. But, I was hoping too much for something I couldn't have. At least I thought so. Then, I jumped right in when he kissed me and it was a mistake."
Having revealed alot, Grace did not want anyone thinking she was an evil sinner and nasty hoochie momma. Other appropriate names came to mind, but she forgiven herself and didn't want anyone else thinking them.
"Grace, I'm not getting a clear picture here. You're describing something on my level. You two don't act like a couple of teenagers. How could you feel your feeling were wrong. OH. I get it." Cassandra said nodding. "Gabriel's experience with woman is light. He doesn't take them seriously. You went way too far in your starry eyed dreams."
"He made the first move. We did say anything after that." Grace said. "I'm so ashamed. I acted like a stupid girl and we both knew better. I thought Gabriel was using me. He's always running around. Well, he was in New Orleans, but he changed in Germany. But, he was my boss, then my partner. He was my friend. And, it did go too far."
"Then, he didn't say anything. And, he acted like it was nothing. Hey, I was not willing to pretend. And, then he got it together with Madeline. They way they flirted was too hot for me. But, then he told her to get lost. He came up to the hotel room we'd been staying in and was going to talk with me."
"Mosely spilled the beans without knowing it. And, Madeline. too. But, I don't know what Gabriel was going to say or even felt. It's been four months. Time changes things. And, I'm different then I was. I've grown up, matured into the person I want to be. Well, when I'm not being completive and blow things the wrong way and people get tempted to lose any control they have."
"On the other hand, Gabriel is still himself. He's no prince charming, but I really feel a strong wave of heat when he's around. And, he makes me think. He talks like nobody I've ever met and says things I think we'd both agree with, if we ever had a real conversation instead of arguing of competing over each other egos."
"You know what I want. I want to know how Gabriel feels and thinks about me. If he was the wrong impression, I want to show him who I am. And, I want to get to know him on his understanding without compromising my any more of our friendship. I want to find a way to start over. I saw him staring at me awhile ago. He's interested."
"You want to know how to work this but not manipulate him." Cassandra nodded. "Follow your instincts. If you don't know how, I try and help you. I can understand if your friends don't get it. They don't seem the romantic type. Trust me, this is big compared to what your used to."
"I know that." Grace said. "I don't want to play games, I just want to act on my feelings and get to know him. But, I sound like a stupid kid playing for something she can't have."
Cassandra laughed. "No, you're playing this very well. Grace, let me tell you something. This attraction, relationship, and love thing we go through is a game. But, it's fun when played fairly and with a mature understanding. That's why I don't really get hurt when it turns out my latest love interest is just out to impress his friends or get what he wants. I leave them in the dust and find what I'm really looking for."
"I already weighed the pros and cons. I only found a bunch of pros." Grace said. She should want to cry, no that was the old Grace. The person she'd become was too busy surging from this new discovery and wanted to get on with her usual life. Gabriel was not everything. But, he would be nice.
Why am I so confuse?, Grace wondered. And, why does this have to be so complicated?
"Does this have to be so complicated?" Grace asked Cassandra.
"No. You know Madeline? Just don't act like her. Do your own thing? The best way to get close or to at least get a man to get to know you is to share a common interest. What does Gabriel like?"
"Bars and drinking. I guess he dances. He loves horror. I like horror. I suppose I could get everyone interested in going to a nightspot and then maybe a horror movie. There's a new club open and I wanted to check it out with my friends. And, I'd love that movie."
"There you go." Cassandra said. "If everyone would like to go, great. You get to see what would happen and if it's wrong, it won't be so bad if your out with everyone. Besides, you told me about the losers you've been seeing. Gabriel looks like a good mix of everything you're looking for. You said, you wouldn't mind a guy who dates others as long as he's not running around. You can see how he acts around other women now. "
"I didn't think it was stupid." Grace said. "I just didn't want to act like this counted all my hopes and dreams on it."
"Don't worry, you have your intentions and your heart in check." Cassandra said, admiring this woman that was far better educated then she. But, she still had the social skills of this girl when it came to normal interaction. Grace was learning and not a bad person. Just confused, but kind and understanding. Her ruthless arrogance and demeanor was only a small failure to communicate with others.
Last update: October 24, 2007
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